How to stop feeling lonely while running your own business

‘It’s lonely at the top’ the saying goes.

But I don’t believe it needs to be.

Loneliness is a feeling of being alone.

Not actually being alone.

You can be surrounded by people and feel really lonely.

You can be on your own and feel just fine.

When I’m talking about feeling lonely I’m meaning feelings of isolation, lost, misunderstood, alone.

I want you to know running your own business and feeling lonely isn’t uncommon but they don’t have to go together. You can shift this feeling.

Being a business owner means you have different roles to play. Those around you don’t always get all that you have to deal with. Feeling like you’re making decisions on your own all the time. And sometimes you can get really stuck in your own head so busy thinking, that you disconnect from what’s going on around you. Kind of like walking around in a bubble. And this just adds to the feeling of being lonely.

If this sounds like you, know there’s plenty you can do to sort this. Here’s five things to consider:

How to stop feeling lonely while running your own business

1) Self-awareness

Recognise that you’re feeling this way and commit to do something about it. Sometimes I think saying we’re lonely feels quite hard. As if we’re saying we haven’t got any friends or anyone close to us. When this isn’t what it’s about in the slightest. As I mentioned it’s feelings of being alone, isolated, lost, misunderstood not about whether you have people around you or not.

2) Connect to your Inner Guide

If you’re not already engaged in a regular spiritual practice, start now. This will support you in so many ways. Knowing that you’re not alone. Your always being guided. There is always loving support for you to draw upon. You just need to stop ‘doing’ and decide to ‘be’ for a short while each day:-).

Daily meditation and prayer give you the time and space to be guided to what you need to do. It helps you discard all the noise and tune into what your soul needs right now. Time for you to ‘be’ and connect to your inner guide is really important.

3) Hang out with your soul tribe

Look at the company you’re keeping and how often you’re seeing them. This covers clients, staff, business networks, friends, family.

Do they light you up? Are they on your wavelength? Do you feel good when you’re with them? Do you spend enough time with them?

I’ve been in romantic relationships in the past where we just weren’t on the same wavelength. Sitting next to each other on the settee with nothing to say felt excruciatingly lonely. Deciding to go our separate ways and having the settee to myself felt good, the loneliness shifted :-).

Connection is the most fundamental human need but it’s about connecting with others who are on the same frequency as you.

Do you have you a book of clients that aren’t on your wavelength so talking to them feels hard work and you don’t really get each other? Being misunderstood can feel very lonely. Maybe you need to find the right tribe for what you have to offer.

Have you taken on staff who you just don’t gel with and you breathe a sigh of relief on the days they aren’t in?

Are you in the right networking / support groups? Meeting up with others just because you all run a business isn’t a good enough reason to hang out together.

Do you have some great company but don’t see them that often? Do you need to see them more?

Start to look at when it is you feel lonely and when you don’t and what the triggers are.

4) Build your relationship with yourself

Sometimes we find it hard to be with ourselves because we aren’t happy with who we are. Feeling the need be with others can be a diversion from spending time in our own company.

Loving who you are right now is really important. Yes you can always improve who you are. That’s the work I do with my clients but I believe it’s important to love who you are today. ‘Warts and all’ as the saying goes.

Running away from negative chatter in your mind by continually seeking out the company of others isn’t the answer. Do you need to work on your own relationship with who you are and get comfortable being with ‘you’?

5) Get Support

You’re not meant to go through your journey in life and business on your own. Work through the steps above and tune into what it is you really need. Perhaps it's shifting who you’re spending time with so you’re with folk on your wavelength? Maybe you need to fall in love with ‘you’ so you can be on your own? Or have you felt isolated because you’ve not spent enough time with your family and they’re going doing stuff you’re missing out on by working all the time?

Seek out what it is you need.

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